Running Behind, Yet Still Running..

Monday, July 12, 2010

Time to get started on the video blogs. I wanted to walk up to the riverwalk near my house and film myself against the Verranzo Bridge or against the Lower Manhattan skyline, yet as I come out of work on today, it’s overcast and looking like rain any minute now. So I’ll postpone the outdoor filming – yet, I can start an indoor shoot w/ my ghetto light and all.

Trying to adhear to a new schedule I have myself on now. No sense in carrying around anger, bitterness and simplehatred for my 9-to-5 job. Thank God I have a job during this time in our turbulent financial times. When I get frustrated with the repeating tasks, certain situations and people at my current job... quite simply, I need to be grateful. There are days when it feels good to have a job and way to provide for yourself. Yet there are other days when I want to pull the covers right back over my head and sleep the day away. I have God to keep me and to keep my ragging and changing emotions all in check.

I believe, in fact I know, God allows situations and challenging events to happen to us to make us stronger. Especially stronger in Him – too many time I’ve had the attitude of independence: I can do this without any help. Whatever “this” might be, finding a job, becoming friends with people, finding and picking out the man I want… terrible I say, yet hearing God’s resounding “no” or “not right now”, hurts like hell and it’s very humbling.

And that was Monday....

on today - Wednesday, just a few days later.... it's been overcast and dreary all morning. And yet, I'm trying very, very hard to stay focused on the goal: create a career and other opportunities for myself. I believe, since I've started this B/N lunchtime and before work-time coffee house-like times w/ my laptop, the inspiration just keeps a-coming. Yet it's time to revisit the script: a new one I'm working on and have only written a few opening scenes. Also, it's time for another written "flashback" from one of my entries from before. Just wanna stay inspired to do more. Ya'll feel me on that?

Staying committed to self-improvement and help throughout this process! Yay! More to come....