Kicking Up the Ambition...

Summer is always a strange time to try and start ambitious editing projects. Yet, if I'm trying to throw myself back into the swing of things then no time will be too busy to start anything. I want to stay inspired, focused and developing every creative bone in my body. Remember, to always tell yourself, it's never to late to learn and develop.

I'll be experiencing some "separation" from a certain friendship for a little bit right now as I try and get things moving in positive direction. Yet, right now as I have my free time during my lunch, I'm searching for work: you know, what's out there? I can't imagine being unemployed during this time yet I've had some very long bouts of unemployment and feel the pain of many who have been searching for work. The known way to go about searching for work and where I have my experience is the very easy way to go. It's time for the challenge. What do I really love to do? What skills do I have right now that could benefit me in a gig? Gotta know the dead-end secretary job can't be how I spend another decade of my precious life. And the chase after the screenwriting dream, well...it's so close yet so far away. I have to continue to challenge myself on a daily basis to write and market my script and to continue the development of other ideas, even if they are in "treatment" form. My career... my life cannot be about just paying the bills and keeping my head above water.

I need to work and live a creative space. One that will grow my intellectually, mental and spiritually. It can happen. I just have to believe I can be a working screenwriter & film director.

keep hope alive, VSJ. Please...

Running Behind, Yet Still Running..

Monday, July 12, 2010

Time to get started on the video blogs. I wanted to walk up to the riverwalk near my house and film myself against the Verranzo Bridge or against the Lower Manhattan skyline, yet as I come out of work on today, it’s overcast and looking like rain any minute now. So I’ll postpone the outdoor filming – yet, I can start an indoor shoot w/ my ghetto light and all.

Trying to adhear to a new schedule I have myself on now. No sense in carrying around anger, bitterness and simplehatred for my 9-to-5 job. Thank God I have a job during this time in our turbulent financial times. When I get frustrated with the repeating tasks, certain situations and people at my current job... quite simply, I need to be grateful. There are days when it feels good to have a job and way to provide for yourself. Yet there are other days when I want to pull the covers right back over my head and sleep the day away. I have God to keep me and to keep my ragging and changing emotions all in check.

I believe, in fact I know, God allows situations and challenging events to happen to us to make us stronger. Especially stronger in Him – too many time I’ve had the attitude of independence: I can do this without any help. Whatever “this” might be, finding a job, becoming friends with people, finding and picking out the man I want… terrible I say, yet hearing God’s resounding “no” or “not right now”, hurts like hell and it’s very humbling.

And that was Monday....

on today - Wednesday, just a few days later.... it's been overcast and dreary all morning. And yet, I'm trying very, very hard to stay focused on the goal: create a career and other opportunities for myself. I believe, since I've started this B/N lunchtime and before work-time coffee house-like times w/ my laptop, the inspiration just keeps a-coming. Yet it's time to revisit the script: a new one I'm working on and have only written a few opening scenes. Also, it's time for another written "flashback" from one of my entries from before. Just wanna stay inspired to do more. Ya'll feel me on that?

Staying committed to self-improvement and help throughout this process! Yay! More to come....

The Joy of Creation....

Still daydreaming and creating stories in my head after all these years….

A perfect lunch hour is one where you are able to write & create your own schedule. Mapping out your creative plans for the rest of the day and week – ah so excited I got a chance to sit down @ Barnes & Noble, next door to my job, and basically download, copy & paste and figure out the best way to spend my remaining 30 minutes. It’s time to get serious about laying out a scripting writing plan for the next feature I have brewing in my head. My child, my baby – Marissa (the name of my first finished feature script) is in the can and I have to drum up more and more nerve to promote it come October. The upcoming screenwriting conference in LA will be no joke. I want to make sure I go with not just one script – at least 3 feature length as well as some TV drama or sitcom treatments. I know I hate rejection and I’ve stayed at said job and in my corner of the world for so long – yet I hate that I’ve never truly pursued this part of my dream.

So Lord, it’s time.

I feel myself gaining creative flow and help from just praying & listening to myself. The novel I want to work on – well, it’ll be work as I go through at least 7 of my written journals to decifier which solid idea I can work with and get onto paper. Cause ultimately for any writer, that’s the goal: You got an idea, or two or three. It means nothing. Get it on paper!

Another flashback is on da way....in the meantime, continue to write & create people!

A Flashback from 2005....

Trying to keep up with the consistency of posting here...Hmmmm. I wonder....never mind.

I wanted to share a written flashback to some of my thoughts when I was tempting as a legal secretary back in April of 2005. It seems as though I hit a creative slump around that time as well and I find it very encouraging to re-read over my thoughts and goals from that time, knowing what financial dyer straits I was facing back then. Seriously, I considered moving back to Chicago to live with again with my mom yet the thought of doing so terrified me. I didn't want to go back home with my tail in-between my legs with no type of success to speak of ...and yet I was forgetting the very expensive graduate level degree I spent time and money on to achieve. Never, ever over look that achievement, ya'll. So here's some of my random thoughts from five years ago... enjoy!

Monday, April 11^th, 2005

I haven’t written in a while and suddenly I stopped maintaining a diary like before. I don’t know what has come over me in the past few months, however I have become “obsessed” with paying off my debt and gaining money. It’s an obsession I hope to get over with soon and hopefully I can return to just having fun doing videos and creating projects outside of what I have done from NYU.

This week I want to return to the “old” me. The “creative” me. The selfless and giving me. Service I know for a fact that the law firm I am currently employed through my agency, Woodham & Myers (the name of the actual agency has been changed for privacy issues.) does not want to hire me and I want to have the power to choose to leave. I am committed to spending my lunch hour – (12:00 – 1:00pm) to search for other “creative” opportunities and work outside of this “9-to-5”. I have an ad thumb-tacked to my desk about voice-over work. This is something to check out. Also, if there is not fee involved, I would like to call “Global Casting Network” for actor/actress extra work. I have to get my foot in the door somewhere. And then there’s the ace in my deck; an e-mail for Henry Western, who works for a popular cable network (this has been changed as well). I think I’m going to rework my resume to reflect producing and directing jobs and use NYU as the training/schooling/job that will hopefully open some eyes to this. I have to get very, very serious about this.

What I want out of my career. What I want out of my life. These are some things to serious ponder….

April 12^th-15^th 2005

So here’s a list of things to accomplish during my lunch time:

1) Price/purchase Final Draft for the PC. The last time I checked this was in January for the 7.0 version. It is imperative to place the 3 scripts I currently have in this format (to be taken seriously as a screenwriter).

2) Re-copyright “Marissa’s Song” - Copyright paperwork is at my house.

3) Call the Dentist. Either Dr. Bullock for an appointment during my birthday weekend or another dentist here in the Brooklyn area under the Well-Care health plan I have.

4) Call the agency for creatives (Do #7 before I do this.) Set-up an appointment with an placement specialist. Also, update and correct resume with Hope experience on resume.

5) Contact 2 other employment agencies for full-time employment. – No more legal secretarial work. Focus on Media planner work, public relations or some type of media assistant/specialist work.

6) Create a countdown in 3D (using Maya) – To get the creative juices flowing again, use Maya and create some 3D objects/type letters for title sequences.

7) Re-do the Demo reel. – Update demo reel with Hope Worldwide material and weddings stuff for CG.

So, this is where my head was at back in '05. Ironically, many of the items mentioned on this list was accomplished. If nothing else people, please know and learn that writing down your goals with a full commitment to them always is assured for the follow-through.

See ya'll a little bit later....

The Start of Something....

It’s taken a while to get this blog up and running yet here I go. Returning to the 9-to-5 job with a renewed state of mind: developing my own business & be about the business of making a feature film & getting several development deals from my scripts.

Oh yes… its been a long time coming, yet I feel refreshed over this long July 4^th weekend break I gave myself. There’s so much material, ideas, short films, pictures, edited fun videos and poetry coming through me that I haven’t had a chance to get it all down at one time. I think I was relying on Facebook too much, yet it has been a great outlet (under the “Notes” section on FB). Wonderful comments about my recent note on Facebook, called "Unthinkable," fueled the renewed passion to get this blog a-going. (Eventually, I'll get that FB note on here as well.) Also, I’m in full preparation of writing a novel – a task I’ve stopped and started over the years, wondering if it'll be a fiction or non-fiction work of art. Hmmmm....

So many of my good friends have told me about my writing skills and for some crazy reason, I thought good writers were made of the strong, reliable stock & would be persistent and never lazy in their writing focus. I'm in the process of fully refocusing my energies and time and return to the creative passion I love to do the most; writing. What takes up my time in my free hours from the job? Good question! And you know what I came up with? I love to sit quietly and allow my thoughts to flow on paper. As I became older, my writing is now going through a wonderful filter of sorts yet I can challenge myself to be rebellious and bold with some restraint, I think. As I remember from my earliest times as a third grader, one of my teachers, Ms. Benjamin told me I had an active imagination based on the assignments I would turn in. And any assignment which would require a break from the usual norm of reading and reporting on boring topics, I was all for. I studied broadcast journalism in college and halfway through my studies I started to fall out of love with the journalist type of writing I was trained to do. I fell in love with video editing and filmmaking in my senior year – Soon, I was bringing together people from different majors, all walks of life and interests for either a black history moment or a PSA (Public service Announcement) or a screenplay I wrote or helped co-write with other aspiring writers. Reflecting back on how I joined with people and got encouragement and gave encouragement, it’s time to return some of the love I’ve received over the years right here in “blog” form by writing, sharing pictures (cause I go no where without a camera) and editing video shorts to share here @ my blogspot here. Wow…. This is really cool!

Now, after some help and encouragement from co-workers, friends and family, I’m starting on this journey with everyone here in the cyberworld to keep me accountable to the wonderful scripts, books and short videos I’ve had within me all along. It’s time to share, experiment & grow (all within reason) all the creative passions I can pursue on my downtime. Its just…learning how to be completely tech savvy, changing with the ever-changing programs, i.e. Adobe and Apple programs & scripting your life can be challenging, yet I embrace the challenge wholeheartedly.

Here’s the first entry of many… thanks for joining me & away we go!